1 – About 4-6 months ago, I was “told” (hallucinated? dreamed?) by Guru Siyag that the meditation on his website was for people addicted to form and that I need not bother with it.

2 – This morning, I had a dream where Guru Siyag was sitting at the front of a room. I was down on my hands and knees and I had the crown of my head pointed directly towards him. An electric charge started in my upper body and beyond my head. I immediately stopped meditating and wanted to ask Guru why he said meditate at the 3rd eye instead of the crown, but I couldnt get anyone to come and translate.

So, I decided to go get the photo of Guru Siyag and try to prostate towards it. I did indeed feel a strong electric charge but then got scared. I tried a few other variations on this meditation, but never could get back to the strong electric charge.

Now what is interesting is that Kundalini can be awakened by focus on the crown as you can see here:

Hmm, well I was bored and had nothing to do. So I sat down and decided to meditate.

I felt some warmth in the legs a few times. There was a powerful stillness everywhere.

So I kept going. I eventually fell into a sleep.

In the dream, many various things happened. One interesting thing is I almost walked directly into a gigantic spiderweb.

THE TRUTH IS:

whatever is in your mind will control you. whatever tensions you have. hates. whatever. and they will unravel in due time. either in a non-injurious or injurious way.

I have not practiced GSSY for at least 6 months if not longer. I’ve been having numerous astral projections and remote viewings since then. Now, last night, I was in a situation in a classroom of sorts. And Zui was walking towards me with one breast exposed. I motioned to her to close her shirt up because others might see it.

Then she walks over to a wall and exposes her back.

She has 2 breasts hanging down lower than they would be on the front. And below those two feet appear. She has her knees bent and she says: “i’m going to do some breathing now” — at this point she turns into a fully jet black figure which I recognize as Shiva. She says: “dont fight it. just accept it”

I have no faith or interest in Guru Siyag at the moment. I feel ashamed. I feel like I must continue. But I feel like the work of Nikolay Dolgorukiy is what I need right now.

L. Ron Hubbard was the most incredible person to ever walk this earth if you ask me. He has a way of explaining and dissecting reality that I have not seen matched anywhere. Now, in his ‘Handbook for Preclears’ he makes an accurate observation about the physical universe. Everything here is always in motion.

So, any attempt to get to spirit via motion is probably failure-prone. Of course you can dance til you drop and the dropping (stillness) is spirit. Likewise with a psychodrama type therapy where you freak out until it is all gone.

But let’s talk the Vedas and Siddha Yoga.

4 Layers of Motion

physical, prana, mental, discriminative bodies are nothing but coarse and subtle motion. They are not in the least bit spiritual.

3 Layers of Stillness

“Be still and know that I AM God” — just look at that sentence. BE .. I AM … your being still IS God… fascinating.

Anyway, you have 3 layers which require no motion. These layers are senior to and control the lower layers, as hard as that may be to belive!

bliss, awareness, truth. – the eternal you exists in these still layers.

During meditation, the more spiritual I get, the less capable I am of doing the mantra or visualizing Gurudev. The reason is simple. The mantra and visualization were being done by me with the outer 4 layers.

I tell you, once you realize that Siddha Yoga is really a spiritual practice, then you really connect in. Anything that you do during the practice, such as moving the eyes, furrowing the brow… any of that had a SPIRITUAL ORIGIN. This practice, when done in the SPIRITUAL realm (3rd eye) with your SPIRITUAL self (truth body) really fills you up with bliss.

Powerful shakti, beautiful shakti, pretty pretty shakti

Universal shakti, eternal shakti, bhakti for the shakti showering my ears

Oh kundalini, mother kundalini, won’t you ride home and accomplish all siddhi

Kundalini shakti, shakti, shakti, powerful shakti, Oh how I love thee

The naada is the sound that heralds your return

Drunk on your power as you gently turn

my body left and lift up my head

make your way home yes swiftly tread

for soon I shall be dead!

Oh kundalini shakti, shakti, shakti

powerful shakti, pretty pretty shakti

shakti, shakti, shakti, shakti

oh I how love three, bhakti for the shakti

the way your body basically works is like this: it sees or hears something. It decides if that something is pro or contra survival. If it is pro survival thoughts of pleasure and desire arise. If that something is contra survival, various negative thoughts and emotions arise.

Now, the last thing the biological machine needs when sitting down to meditate is to see or hear things which threaten it’s survival. Understanding surrender, we have just made our job much harder.

So what to do? I have an idea, give ourselves from pro survival pictures to look out. Hey, how about Guru Siyag’s face? And what about some soothing sounds? How about that Secret Mantra that Gurudev initiated you with?

Well, what do you know? We have the perfect combination of pictures and sounds, to keep the biocomputer away from negativity for a good 15 minutes! Righteous!

Awhile back, I met a lady who was into Rudolf Steiner’s Anthroposophy. After doing some research on it, I saw that it was a racialist philosophy and dropped it.

Last night, in a dream, I was in an elevator. And I saw that woman. I walked up to her and said: ‘isnt steiner a racialist… i really dont jibe with that…’ — she cut me off and took me into a room. She kneeled down and put her mouth to my right ear and began to sing a series of tones. They were beautiful and familiar. And they sent me travelling rapidly down something that looked like a upward sloping golf course.

I was travelling towards trees in the middle of the grass and I would just go right through them.

After awhile I came back to the room and reached out to hug her and thank her but she moved quickly away from me and the room as well. Other people were in this large, high-ceilinged room as well..

My mom tried to play the guilt card. She tried to rope me into going home by listing out all the sacrifices she made for me. She ended the call all choked up in tears and could barely get off the phone without wailing in tears (which I’m sure she is doing right now).

I like how she tries to paint a picture of me as the ungrateful son. I really have cooked up a serious negative weight here. Just how bad do you want to know your Eternal self over the conditional good feelings that the one who birthed you can give you?

You spent your first 9 months in a flesh body with her voice and mind controlling your development. Then 18 years of further control. And now the various games continue… unless you go ahead and give in. And start to hypnotize yourself with her slogans — parental respect, be a good person, etc.

Now, the fundamental question she never could answer: who am I? who are you? What do you mean YOU helped ME? Dont you realize that is not even possible? There is no you!!!